Self-love Is The Key To Your Love Life

Self-love Is The Key To Your Love Life

A 28-year-old female client came to me for a reading on life and love. She said she felt lonely and sad without a partner, yet she had been badly hurt in a recent relationship and she was afraid to love again. She really loved the man who was no longer in her life, but heated disagreements and discussions over their different ways of relating had revealed incompatibility. He was the emotional one while she was logical, rational, and not as outwardly loving.  She felt empty and defeated. She believed she was to blame for the previous breakup and regretted her behaviour.  She told me she could be harsh and critical and did not know how to control this tendency to lash out in a destructive way.  She tried to mend things and get her boyfriend to come back, but he told her that it was over and that he had moved on.



I did a 3-card reading which I extended to 9 cards, and I drew a card for the mood of the reading. The Mood card was the 10 of Cups.

Row 1

Six of Pentacles

When you are out on a dinner date with a man you rather like, you like him even more when you see that he treats the server in an appreciative and respectful manner.

This card is about compassion and generosity and seeing the true quality of a person. The merchant in this card values the beggars and affirms their worth. This is the card of “what goes around comes around.”

Knight of Cups

The man my client was involved with was very loving, generous, compassionate, and kind. He was her true “knight in shining armour” with many of the qualities she believed she wanted and needed in a partner. 

The Knight of Cups is romantic, and he knows how to sweep his lady off her feet! He is warm and affectionate, charming, and chivalrous. A diplomatic peace-lover and negotiator, he chooses his words carefully and expresses his feelings easily. He loves with excitement and passion. This is not the one you want to get away!  


Oh. And did I actually need to say HOT??!!

Knight of Swords

Knights are about ACTION!

This card is speeding forward, charging with force. It is about opportunities and change, strong personalities, being assertive, direct, and honest. 

While Cups are about emotions, Swords are about thoughts and discussions:  analyzing, dissecting, considering pros and cons and holding nothing back. Change is always afoot with this card.


The Knight of Cups is our gentleman, and he also embodies the good karma of the Six of Pentacles. He is considerate of others, does not like to offend, and is courteous to all. He is loving and generous, but he will not be taken for granted. The Knight of Swords shows that he stands up for himself in the relationship and the couple have frank discussions about their differences. The differences were so great that the relationship fell apart.

Row 2

8 of Cups

The Eight of Cups is a heavy card of regret, sadness, and loss. It is about walking away from something that is no longer working. Emotional fulfillment is lacking. Feelings of abandonment, loneliness, depression are common with this card. 

There is a fear of looking for love again. It is a card for introspection and solitary reflection, similar to The Hermit card.

Queen of Swords

The Queen of Swords does not suffer fools gladly. She says what she thinks, and she is no diplomat. In fact, her words can cut like a knife. She is out for herself, and she put herself first.  

She is calculating and she knows how to get what she wants. Independent, self-reliant, and strong, she could never be called clingy or needy. She may rationalize rather than express emotion.

Two of Cups

This card is about partnership, engagement, marriage, a healthy relationship between two people who share a mutual respect. 

It is about love and compatibility, about not having to go through life all by yourself. 

It is about soulmates and happy couples.


Sad and lonely, the client regrets that things did not work out.  She is depressed and afraid of even seeking love again because of her past experience. She relives the heated arguments, and she believes she had a large part to play due to her direct and hurtful manner. Nevertheless, she cannot imagine life without a partner and that ideal person is alive in her mind and imagination.

Row 3

Seven of Cups

This card conjures up wishful thinking and building castles in the sky. Imagination, creativity, dreams all play a role here. It is interesting that this card follows the Two of Cups as the client is dreaming of love in the future. It is a card of fantasy and illusion. 

Castles must be built on the ground. What does the client need to face before lasting love can take root in her life?

Wheel of Fortune

This card is all about karma and destiny. In love, it is matchmaking done by the Universe. Lovers meet in a completely unexpected, random way and they have the sense that it was “just meant to be.” 

The Wheel of Fortune can have soulmates meet through fate or destiny in the strangest of places.  Fear of abandonment or fear of commitment must be dealt with before this wheel will bounce into one’s life.

Page of Pentacles

To get better at anything, you must work at it, and this includes learning from your mistakes. Our Page of Pentacle has passion for learning, the same kind of passion our client must possess in her self-examination in order to be successful in love.  He is a dreamer and a doer. He dreams of what he wants and takes the actions to get there. 

The qualities and tendencies the client demonstrated that pushed love out of her life are to be re-examined. How can she become a softer, more giving version of herself? 

How badly does she want a lasting love? She must channel her energy differently.


The client’s independence, self-sufficiency, and self-centred ways gave her lover the message that she didn’t need him. Her harsh manner made him to realize that he did not need her.  She is still vividly dreaming about her ideal man coming into her life. She must deal with the issues that pushed love out of her life before diving into the next relationship. She is very likely to do this and is motivated to learn. She will continue to learn in her new relationship which fate will manage for her!

Mood Card

Ten Of Cups

Our client will likely learn her lessons and ultimately have a happy life with a husband and family in which they will feel financially secure and be grateful for their blessings. 


It is a card of completion. The client manifests the life she wants.

Self-Love is the Key to More Love in Your Life

Understanding who we are strengthens who we are becoming.

In my e-book on self-love, we are reminded that our ability to love ourselves and others is all that really matters. Finding self is a solitary process. We need to see the shadow side of our personality as well. What you criticize in others reflects what you have within yourself but don’t want to deal with. As you become more self-loving, you become more compassionate toward others. Finding out who you really are and generating self-love is the most rewarding experience you can have. This book is a guide for taking that journey.

Do you struggle with relationships? Do you long to be loved and appreciated in a deep way by your partner? Do you feel taken for granted in your relationship much of the time? If the answer is ‘yes,’ think about how much you love yourself right now. How does your love for yourself reflect the love you are receiving from your intimate partner?

My e-book has suggestions on how to increase your self-love. It will help you to see yourself with more clarity. I am sure you will find it useful in your own love journey.  You can download this Self-Love book by clicking on the link to get your copy today.

Much insight is gained through a tarot reading. You may wish to explore love through the lens of a focused reading on that topic. 

I would love to work with you!

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